(Wiki-special opens inside Darlington Raceway inside Rudy's hauler with Rudy, Penny (washing dishes), Snap, Jackie, and Edd after breakfast)
Rudy: Man, this is the BIG one! The Southern 500 is one of the BIGGEST races of the year, other than the DAYTONA 500, the Coca-Cola 600 and the Brickyard 400.
Penny (while washing Snap's breakfast plate): And that win you pulled in Plainsville 2 races ago really boosted your chances at the playoffs.
Rudy: Actually, I'm IN the playoffs, Penny. Win and you're in!
Edd: I've pulled off 3 wins this year and it'll be such an intriguing honor to hopefully win today's Southern 500. Me and Jackiepie were so pleased for you to invite us over your hauler for breakfast.
Rudy: You can sleep over after the race if you like.
Snap: Yeah, as long as you keep the mushy stuff separate!
Rudy: SNAP?! Well, I don't blame you getting grossed out, but better them than my parents.
Edd (while rubbing Jackie's pregnant belly): So how's little Evelyn doing in there, Jackie?
Jackie: This baby will soon be on her way.
Edd: That is indeed wonderful news, dear.
Jackie: We're going to be one happy family when Evelyn is born.
Edd: I'd like to educate her so that she may take after me.
Jackie: Unless she's more interested in singing.
Edd: Well, whatever fate decides for her.
Snap: As long as that baby girl don't stink up my hauler!
Penny: Snap, please behave yourself. And by the way, Neutron's most recent tonic helps a baby instantly grow in one night and know like a 16-year old until 16 years pass by, and after 16 years, they continue there growing process into they're fully grown at the real age time of 21 years old.
Snap: Great gumballs! Neutron really is a genius! Now I don't have to worry about changing a dirty diaper! *uncorks a diet PEPSI bottle and drinks from it*
Rudy (in a moaning way): *annoyed groan* Snap, what am I gonna do with you?
Snap: *belches loudly*
Edd: My, gracious! How repulsive!
Jackie: (in unison) Ewww... Snap...
Snap (unenthusiastically): Excuse me.
Penny (annoyed): Oh, brother! *scene cuts to "NASCAR Raceday: Served By The Krusty Krab"*
Bob Jenkins (ESPN): We're here live from the track "Too Tough To Tame" known as Darlington Raceway which is also nicknamed the "Lady In Black". The only thing that could tame the "Lady In Black" is Mother Nature, because we have threatening skies looming over the racetrack and rain is in the forecast later this afternoon. We hope to get the entire race in before these big band of thunderstorms arrive to this egg-shaped oval known as Darlington Raceway. Hello everyone, I'm Bob Jenkins alongside Benny Parsons, and this race BP is one of the BIGGEST races of the year, because this is the Mountain Dew Southern 500.
Benny Parsons (ESPN): You're right, Bob. This race has always been a Labor Day tradition. Darlington Raceway is one of these racetracks that you CAN'T make a mistake, ESPECIALLY in the turns, one mistake in the turns, and you will earn that dreaded Darlington stripe. (hitting the wall at Darlington).
Bob Jenkins (ESPN): This race is very crucial for Snap White. He still has yet to win a race this year.
Benny Parsons (ESPN): Indeed, Bob, he needs to either win the race or have a current title contender win this race in order to clinch a playoff spot before Richmond next week. If a current title contender wins this race, his hopes dreams of clinching playoff spot will still be alive going into the final race of the regular season (Foreshadowing the "Chevy Monte Carlo 400 Fantasy Edition" wiki). Snap White and the #12 Mobil 1 team really does need to get their acts together if they want to earn that playoff spot. Even though Snap White starts alongside pole-sitter, Princess Morebucks in today's race, the #12 car still looked good in a rain-shortened Happy Hour (final practice) session yesterday, and he would love to grab that Southern 500 victory which would probably send him to the playoffs.
Bob Jenkins (ESPN): Will Snap White succeed and win today's race to clinch playoff berth, or would a non-title contender win this race and take away his playoff dreams? We'll find out in 367 laps. The drivers are ready, the fans are ready, and WE'RE ready to get the 51st Southern 500 underway! Let's go trackside to get the command!
Track P.A Announcer: And now for the 4 most famous words in motorsports, please welcome your Grand Marshall, The King of stock-car auto-racing, with sn unreachable record of 200 career wins, the legendary, Mr. Richard Petty! *crowd cheers loudly*
Richard Petty: Gentlemen, Start Your Engines! *crowd cheers loudly*
*engines start and rev loudly in unison to the loudly cheering crowd*
Bob Jenkins (ESPN): The engines have fired, the fans are ready, and WE'RE ready get the 51st Southern 500 underway before Mother Nature spanks the area! The green flag flies next on ESPN! *scene cuts to Timmy's cockpit*
Timmy: *revs his engine* I just hope Mother Nature don't rain on our parade today.They said big bands of thunderstorms are comin' our way and will last the rest of the day. We NEED to get the race in! *revs his engine* *scene cuts to Bubbles' cockpit*
Bubbles (while revving her engine): Why does Mother Nature have to rain later?! I was looking forward to racing today, but not in this threatening sky! *cries*
Timmy: Don't cry, Bubble-Biscuit, we'll get the whole race in. I'm sure Mother Nature will hold up for all 367 laps. If my mom was mother nature (in reference to the "Fairly Odd-Parents" episode, "Mother Nature") she'd make rain Mountain Dew if she wanted to. *revs his engine*
Bob Jenkins (ESPN): We hope we get today's entire race in before Mother Nature rains on the parade as rain is in today's forecast. We'll keep an eye on the weather radar as the race goes on, but as of now, we're set to go as the pace car pulls into pit-road... *in unison, the crowd screams and cheers loudly as the pace car pulls into the pits*... "rain, rain, stay away" as we get ready to start the 51st running of the Mountain Dew Southern 500... *cars accelerate to take the green flag waved by NASCAR legend, Cale Yarborough, crowd screams and cheers loudly in unison*... and Cale Yarborough waves the green flag, we're racing in Darlington! Glad you're with us on ESPN!
Barney Hall (MRN Radio): Darlington's about to get the 51st Mountain Dew Southern 500 underway as the green flag goes in the air, they come down to the line and take it off to Turn #1. Princess Morebucks, Snap White, Trixie Tang, and Bubble Bass scramble as they head to Turn #2.
Dave Moody (MRN Radio): Side-by-side for the lead! Morebucks on the inside, White on the outside! Give the point to Snap White as he surges ahead to the backstraightaway!
Mike Bagley (MRN): Snap White takes the lead off of Turn #2, Princess Morebucks falling in line in the 2nd position! Those two have crawled away from Trixie Tang by about 3 car-lengths, with Bubble Bass and Timmy Turner lined up behind him!
Joe Moore (MRN Radio): Now there's a battle for the lead coming off Turn #4 already! Princess Morebucks wants the top spot! She goes to work on Snap White! Coming down to the line, they are side-by-side! By inches it's White, but Morebucks is still on the move in Turn #1!
Dave Moody (MRN Radio): Princess Morebucks charges deep into Turn #1! She will take away the lead! Snap White drops it back to 2nd! Trixie Tang in 3rd as they work their way to the backstretch!
Mike Bagley (MRN Radio): Tang looks to the bottom of the racetrack, she is trying to grab the 2nd spot away from Snap White! She had the lane off Turn #2 but by the time they get to Turn #3, the lane is sealed off! Here again, White slides high with Tang looking low!
Barney Hall (MRN Radio): Gonna see some hard racing in the first 10 or 15 laps here, simply because as we just said, the rain washed all the rubber off the racetrack, but it will stick. The tires will stick exceptionally good for the first 10 or 15 laps. Scramble again for 2nd place in Turn #2.
Dave Moody (MRN Radio): Trixie Tang's down on the bottom of the racetrack, she'll push her Chevrolet to 2nd! Snap White's back to 3rd! The battle for 4th is Bubble Bass and Timmy Turner!
Mike Bagley (MRN Radio): Turner was pouring on the steam coming off of Turn #2! He had the inside lane but had to come out of the throttle, now Turner instead of pressuring Bubble Bass for a position, he's forced into defense mode with Bart Simpson looking to make some moves!
Joe Moore (MRN Radio): Simpson took a shot to the outside of Turner going to Turn #3, now off Turn #4, Turner figures he's gonna have to make something happen! He goes after Bubble Bass! He falls in line at the start/finish line! Further back, Finbarr Calamitous is on the move as he drops down to the low side of Edward Marion!
Dave Moody (MRN Radio): Finbarr takes the low lane in Turn #1, he'll take the spot away-- whoa! Bubble Bass gets way high! Timmy Turner, using evasive action, pulls down to the bottom, and he'll take 4th away! *scene cuts to Timmy's cockpit*
(Turn #2, on the backstretch, backstraightaway, Turns 3 & 4)
Timmy (in 4th): How's it feel to have your first "Darlington stripe", Trouble Bass?! *scene cuts to Bubble Bass' cockpit*
Bubble Bass (in 5th): Grrr! I'll give you your first "Darlington CRUNCH" when I lock onto your fu--*bleep*--in' bumper, Beaver-Boy! *scene cuts to Timmy's cockpit*
Timmy (in 4th): What?! Sorry! I don't understand low-down language! *scene cuts to Bubble Bass' cockpit*
Bubble Bass (in 5th): *roars as he did in the "Spongebob Squarepants" episode, "Pickles") *scene cuts to Timmy's cockpit*
Timmy (in 4th): Hey, you need a cough-drop or somethin'?! You sound like you lost your voice! *scene cuts to Bubbles' cockpit*
Bubbles (in 24th): *giggles* You're funny Timmykins. *scene cuts to the track*
Barney Hall (MRN Radio): From 6th place on-back is where the really hard racin' is goin' on right now as they roll back to the start/finish line. Sheen Estevez, Sandy Cheeks, Rudy Tabootie, Homer Simpson, and Fuzzy Lumpkins are mixed up on that one as they go back over to Turn #2.
Dave Moody (MRN Radio): Rudy Tabootie is also on the charge! He's taken the 8th spot away from Sandy Cheeks! Right behind her, here's Bloo Kazoo to the inside of Fuzzy Lumpkins!
Mike Bagley (MRN Radio): He will complete the pass coming onto the backstraightaway now! Bloo Kazoo works his way towards the front, and Timmy Turner's doing the same! Turner, after clearing Bubble Bass, has closed in on Snap White, and that is for the 3rd position! *scene cuts to the ESPN Broadcast Booth*
Bob Jenkins (ESPN): Princess Morebucks continues to lead in the Mountain Dew Southern 500 here at Darlington Raceway, *scene cuts to the track* and she REALLY wants to win this race and clinch the last playoff spot, should this race gets rain-shortened later in the day!
Benny Parsons (ESPN): Man, Princess Morebucks IS racin' the rain--! *in unison, Trixie Tang slips in Turns 1 & 2 and spins, but doesn't hit anything (in unison, she cries out "WHOA!!!! WHOOAAHOHOAAHHH!!!" as she spins)*
Bob Jenkins (ESPN): WHOA! Trixie Tang spins in the 2nd corner! Luckily she did NOT hit anything and keeps on going! How about that?!
Benny Parsons (ESPN): That's smart drivin' right there by Team Fastex's Trixie Tang! She REALLY held on to that racecar--! *in unison, Evil Jimmy Clone gets turned around in Turns 1 & 2 after bodyslamming Cindy Vortex (in unison, Cindy angrily cries out "HEY! WATCH IT!" and Evil Jimmy Clone cries out "YAAAHHH!!!! YOU DID THIS, VORTEX!!!!")*
Bob Jenkins (ESPN): Now Evil Jimmy Clone goes for a spin! He just bounced off Cindy Vortex!
Benny Parsons (ESPN): Man oh man, what is WITH these guys and gals today?!
(Lap 361 of 367 laps / with rain clouds in the area)
scene cuts to ESPN broadcast booth*
Bob Jenkins (ESPN): Coming with just 7 laps to go, the 2 leaders, Timmy Turner (in 1st) and Denzel Crocker (in 2nd) are battling it out for the win, and somehow they're not waiting for 1 to go! *scene cuts back to the track*
Benny Parsons (ESPN): And I think the 2 leaders KNOW why, Bob! Like we said earlier, rain IS in the area, and it looks like it will rain any minute cause it LOOKS that way! These fans wore their raincoats and had their umbrellas up all throughout the entire race, and they still have their umbrellas up! *scene cuts to Crocker's cockpit*
(into Turns 1 & 2)
Crocker (in 2nd): Gimme it, Turner! Don't make me put you in the wall and mark "F" on the same spot you hit! *scene cuts to Timmy's cockpit*
Timmy (in 1st): Get lost, Crockpot! You don't know how much I wanna put YOU in that wall! *scene cuts to Crocker's cockpit*
(onto the backstretch and backstraightaway)
Crocker (in 2nd): HEH! You'd be on the wall of PAIN once I'm done with you, Turner! Don't forget, I'm the nightmare in your rear-view mirror! *laughs evilly* *scene cuts to Timmy's cockpit*
(into Turns 3 & 4)
Timmy (in 1st / to himself in a moaning way): C'mon, "Mother Nature", PLEASE rain!!!! Crocker's all over my rear-bumper!!!! *moans* *scene cuts to the track*
Bob Jenkins (ESPN): The battle seems to get more intense as the laps wind down we now come with 6 laps to go--!
Benny Parsons (ESPN): Look at this, Bob! Oh! They make contact!
Bob Jenkins (ESPN): Crocker rubs Timmy Turner's left rear tire, but Timmy Turner still drives on and holds off the challenge with just 6 laps to go! *scene cuts to Timmy's cockpit*
(in Turns 1 and 2)
Timmy (in 1st): *blocks Crocker* WHOA! *pants* That was close! If I wobbled there, Crocker would reel me in for sure! *scene cuts to Crocker's cockpit*
(onto the backstretch and backstraightaway)
Crocker (in 2nd): Excellent! Shall I try that move again in Turns 3 & 4?!
Timmy (in 1st/ voice only): Stay away from me!
(into Turns 3 & 4)
Crocker (in 2nd): I'll take THAT as a yes! *scene cuts to Timmy's cockpit*
Crocker (in 2nd / voice only): In the matter of fact, I'll try it AGAIN on the frontstretch, just so your fans can see me do that and pass you!
Timmy (in 1st / worried): *gasps* NO! * *scene cuts to the track*
Joe Moore (MRN Radio): (crowd screams and cheers Timmy on loudly in unison) They now come to the line with just 4 laps to go *with sudden realization* (hysterically) and Crocker makes the same move on Timmy Turner again! This time, they duck down to the lower side of the racetrack, but Timmy Turner STILL manages to throw the block on Crocker as they slip back up high into Turn #1! *scene cuts to Timmy's cockpit*
(in Turns 1 & 2)
Timmy (in 1st / talking to himself): C'mon, Timmy! MOVE!!!! *scene cuts to ESPN broadcast booth*
Bob Jenkins (ESPN): (thunder rolls and then crashes in unison) Denzel Crocker still is all over Timmy Turner as they head onto the backstretch, but Timmy Turner now has his biggest break as we now see the caution flag... *scene cuts to Timmy's cockpit with a view of Timmy's windshield*
Bob Jenkins (ESPN / voice only): (heavy downpours immediately pelt Timmy's windshield in unison): ... and this caution is for rain! Timmy Turner will manage to win the 51st Mountain Dew Southern 500 under the caution flag and what a MAJOR relief for Turner and the #24 team! *scene cuts to Timmy's face*
Timmy (in unison to Bob Jenkins speaking and the rain pelting his windshield): *huge sigh of relief* *scene cuts to Crocker's cockpit*
(cars slow down for the caution flag in unison)
Crocker (finishing 2nd / in unison to the rain pelting his windshield): *growls loudly* Fu--*bleep*-- you, "Mother Nature"!!!! Fu--*bleep*-- you!!!! *scene cuts to Timmy's cockpit*
Timmy (finishing 1st / in unison to the rain pelting his windshield / talking to himself): Man, Crockpot has such a dirty mouth when "Mother Nature" rains on his parade. *scene cuts to ESPN Broadcast Booth*
(3 1/2 laps later while under the yellow flag for rain)
Bob Jenkins (ESPN): *crowd cheers loudly in unison* Well it's all over now as they come to line under the yellow and checkered flag and Timmy Turner will win the 51st Mountain Dew Southern 500. *scene cuts back to the now soaked racetrack* Look at these fans! Even though the rain is pouring hard on the racetrack, the fans are STILL stay in the stands and remain in great sprit to see Timmy Turner win the 51st Mountain Dew Southern 500.
Benny Parsons (ESPN): And I'm sure Bob that they'd love to see Timmy do a "rain dance" (inferring to performing post-race donuts and burnouts on wet pavement) when he comes next time by!
Timmy arrives on the frontstretch on the now soaked Darlington Raceway in unison to the crowd screaming and cheering loudly for him* *scene cuts To Timmy's cockpit*
Timmy (in unison to the crowd screaming and cheering for him): *spins his tires, spins out, and performs his donuts and burnouts in the rain* (while pumping his fist out the window in unison to performing his burnouts and donuts and the ballistically cheering crowd* WHOOOO!!!!! Now THIS is what I call a RAIN DANCE!!!!! YEEEAAAHHHH!!!! *scene cuts to the track showing Timmy peforming his donuts and burnouts* *scene cuts to Timmy's garage, where victory lane took place since it was raining outside*
Dr. Jerry Punch (ESPN): Well, Timmy Turner records his 6th win of the season here in Darlington Raceway, and it has to be the biggest win of his life... *Timmy climbes out of his #24 DUPONT Chevrolet in unison* and it is THE SOUTHERN 500.
Timmy: *pumps his fist in the air as the victory celebration begins with his #24 team* WHOOO!!!!! YEAH!!!! *pounds the hood of his racecar in victory* *the 24 team cheers while splashing PEPSI and Gatorade at Timmy in unison* WHOOOO!!!! YEEAAAHHH!!!! WHAAH-HOO-HOO!!!! Man you guys are awsome!!!! *splashes his PEPSI at his team and drinks it*
Dr. Jerry Punch (ESPN): So tell me, Timmy. How do you feel about winning possibly the biggest race of your career?
Timmy (being interviewed by Dr. Jerry Punch): Well *pants wearily* it's the Southern 500 baby! *#24 team cheers and fades into silence* Plus I'd love to thank the entire #24 DUPONT Chevrolet team, PEPSI which I call, the world's best cola, and my trusty fans who made my lifelong dream to win the Southern 500 a reality.
Dr. Jerry Punch (ESPN): And that battle you had with Crocker really livened up the fans once the rains came?
Timmy (being interviewed by Dr. Jerry Punch): Oh, man, Crocker...beating one of my biggest enemies is always an accomplishment especially when that enemy happens to be a teacher who gives me F's on purpose! Even when when my scores were good!
Timmy: I'm sure Crocker will remember who he was beaten by: the one he reigned terror on in school along with all my friends!! Well, today, now he knows how the "rain" feels!
Timmy: Anyway, I'm proud to win the Southern 500! Bubbles, this calls for a celebration dinner! But, because all my teammates are my friends; yes, Eddy, I even consider YOU a friend, we should all celebrate this awesome victory! Thanks for the interview, Jer. *sigh of relief* and man I can't wait for a rest when I get in that hauler.
Dr. Jerry Punch (ESPN): And what you said about Crocker losing to the rain, Crocker really would hope that you don't "rain on his parade" next Saturday night in Richmond. (Foreshadowing the "2000 Chevrolet Monte Carlo 400 Fantasy Edition" wiki)
Timmy: Well Crocker will be looking for something I might give him next week, and oh, it ain't gonna be pretty. In the matter of opinion, I think Richmond IS the best place for my revenge on Crockpot--. OOF! *Bubbles hugs Timmy and kisses him on the cheek*
Jerry Punch (ESPN): *chuckles* Well I guess your wife and 3rd place finisher, Bubbles Turner came to your surprise in the #24 garage.
Timmy (while Bubbles was tightly hugging him* Uh, Bubbles how did you get in my garage, I thought you were still at post-race car inspection.
Bubbles: *kisses Timmy on cheek* They kindly let me celebrate with you just after they said my #43 car passed post-race inspections. *kisses Timmy on the lips and nuzzles his cheek*
Dr. Jerry Punch (ESPN): Bubbles Turner, really congratulating her husband Timmy's Southern 500 win. To Matt Yocum with 5th place finisher, Snap White who was so close to clinching his playoff berth. (In reference to when Snap ran out of gas with 11 laps to go while in the lead)